For the past four years I’ve been on this search of self discovery. I’ve learned to pull the layers back and find what is at the core of who I am and how to be a better version of me. I’ve surrounded myself with books and people who have inspired me and pushed me to where I wanted to go. I’ve made mistakes along the way and there are things that I’m not all that proud of, but what I’ve learned is that it’s a process of always pushing forward, throwing out some things I’ve been taught and embracing a new way to think.
Here’s what I mean…I’ve always been someone who loves goals. I’m the girl that makes a checklist in the morning and loves to check things off. My goals usually consist of things like “Save a certain percentage each month”, “Start this new hobby”, “Meet this goal”,”Finish this task”, etc. However, looking at this list only inspires me that day and then I lose focus. So I created a vision board. Now, I LOVE my vision board because I can see the goals I wanted to accomplish. But as I sat at my desk staring at it, I realized that although I will never throw my vision board out, there is still something missing.
The past couple months have been challenging for me with a lot of new interactions presenting themselves. Not all challenges are negative, in fact, I like to look at each one and try to figure out what it is I’m suppose to be learning at this given time. I started to realize that these “goals” I’ve created for myself were in some way sabotaging what it was that I was really trying to accomplish.
I started stripping away the “goal” and thought about what was the real feeling I wanted to get to. If I had “Success” up there, what does “Success” mean? What I realized is that “Success” didn’t mean what I thought. Success is created by what others have designed. We compare ourselves to our neighbors, our co-workers, our family and decide that being successful is based on of other’s people’s dreams. When I stripped it away a little more, I realized that being successful to me wasn’t what I initially thought, but it was other feelings that came with that was what I really wanted.
So, what are those feelings for me that I really want?
- Love
- Inspire
- Joy
- Abundant
- Gratitude
- Vibrant
- Harmony
What I’ve learned is that we can’t rely on outside sources to fuel these feelings. We can’t look to friends, lovers, or careers to provide this to us. We have to look within ourselves and find it.
I’m learning to make decisions that will provide me these things. Decisions as to who I choose to surround myself with, where I shop, go to dinner, how I prioritize my life. It’s about wearing heels instead of flip-flops, spending some time with my camera at the park and doing what I love, surrounding myself with those who make me laugh, and loving those around me more.
We are all worthy of having everything we want. It’s time to let go of fears and insecurities and start going after the pieces of life that make us feel fulfilled.
So, what are some of the feelings that you want to achieve?
The Ytown Car Girl 